Last Night I Had a Dream…

•April 30, 2011 • 1 Comment


I went to fetch you from the train
I wore a smile,
A dress,
And my own last name.

My hair was blonde
And my dress was blue.
I stood on the platform
And I waited for you.

I looked to the clock,
It was only noon.
Not a doubt in my mind,
You’d be arriving soon.

The first train came
Could this be yours?
I watched and I waited,
My eyes searched through the scores

Of love drunk couples
Here and there,
My eyes searched faster
Everywhere.

But the train emptied out
And then it was gone.
I glanced at the clock:
Now a quarter ‘til one.


A second train came
It was this one… I was sure!
But the passengers rushed out
And all was a blur.

I watched in confusion
As girls just like me
Swept past me so quickly
Some, brides and mothers to be…

A third train came
From it you did not emerge
And behind tear flooded eyes
I could feel the surge…

Memories, memories
All my heart and mind could hold
The promises, promises
I had been sold!

A fourth train, a fifth train,
A sixth train still…
My hopes were dashed
Unfulfilled

My knees grew weak
And my stomach churned
What a foolish girl!
What a lesson learned…

I turned toward the clock
Though I cared not for the time
How long had I waited
Without reason or rhyme?

At some point or another
I stopped counting trains
I now knew counting
Left me nothing to gain

Trains passed by
And with them years flew
All the time I sat waiting
Waiting for you

And then one day…
My heart it leapt!
My eyes couldn’t believe it!
From a train you stepped!

You stood in front of me
Clear as day
The image I remembered
Not one bit had time washed away

But as I rushed towards you
My heart filled with glee
I suddenly realized…
You weren’t looking at me

Her hair was brown
And her dress was green
And I watched you embrace
A final, heartbreaking scene

You left the platform
Hand in hand
I only wanted to be your girl
And now you were her man

The last train pulled away
And in its windows I saw
My own sad reflection…
I dropped my jaw

My hair was gray
And my dress was too…
Oh how much beloved time had been wasted

…Waiting on you.

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•November 30, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I want to sleep through this whole week.

Better yet, will someone just wake me up in March?

Crossroads

•July 8, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Every day has a million crossroads.

Your alarm goes off and you decide to get out of bed that moment rather than hit the snooze just one more time. You make a dozen more decisions before you brush your teeth. After you brush your teeth you ponder whether to buy a coffee on your way to work or to brew coffee at home. Buying coffee is easier but requires leaving at least ten minutes earlier and obviously, spending money. You decide to make your own. From there: enough for 1 cup or 2? milk or half and half? Should you put it in the to-go cup in case you don’t finish or drink from your favorite, hand painted ceramic mug?

You decide to wear the black shoes over the blue shoes, wear your hair up instead of down, and take a sandwich for lunch over a microwave meal.

On the way to work you take the back roads and avoid the highway, you listen to country, not rock, and you choose to wait until a stop light to answer your ringing phone. You make a hundred decisions on your route to work alone.

At work you have an important decision to make: you can be nice to the coworker who doesn’t like you, or you can treat her the same way she treats you. By noon your tongue is sore from biting it so much.

More decisions.

Smile at everyone who walks in or check Craigslist just one more time? Pass these customers on to a coworker or wait another half an hour to eat lunch? When you finally get a lunch break at 3:30 you choose to wait until you’re off to eat at home rather than spend money you don’t have on a lunch you will have to practically inhale anyway. Thirty minutes is hardly enough time to drive somewhere, buy food, enjoy your lunch, and get back to work on time. It is however enough time to find the fastest fast food within a one mile radius, devour it within a couple minutes, and get back to work to clock in three minutes late… with a stomach ache. So instead of going through that hassle, you get a Pepsi from the vending machine, maybe a bag of chips, and you spend 11 minutes winding down from the stress of work, 16 minutes relaxing, and 3 minutes staring at the time clock and preparing to go back to work.

By the time you clock out for the day and are walking to your car you are exhausted. More choices. Buy cat food tonight, or make a trip out in the morning on your day off? Take the highway or the back roads home? Windows down or AC on?

And then your phone buzzes inside your pocket. The text is simple and harmless enough. “Hope you had a nice day.” Suddenly every small decision you made today seems just that – small. Your heart pounds and you feel flushed. The next choice is much bigger than “Reply” or “Ignore.” The choice is to feel. Or not to. Open yourself – and your heart – to the idea of someone new or build another wall? Take a leap or stay dry on the shore?

So you are standing at a crossroads and you have no idea which path to follow. It seems so simple, the answer so obvious. Respond and see where it goes. But one choice to “see where it goes” can have so many implications. Open one door, close five others. If you take this road, will you have to backtrack to find the path you were on again? And will you lose sight of the roads you didn’t take completely?

It is simple, and the answer really is obvious. Make the choice to see where it goes, or don’t. But don’t paralyze yourself. Because if you don’t open this door, will you ever open another?

•June 27, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Here’s to trying…

Today.

•June 17, 2010 • 1 Comment

Today I woke up early because my kitten was relentlessly attacking my face.

Today my kitten met the spray bottle for the first time. She is none too thrilled.

Today I am enamored with the iPhone 4. It is so hot I think I blushed a little when I first laid eyes on it.

Today I’m a little peeved with Twitter being “overcapacity” every time I login to share something.

Today I’m bummed that I have three kinds of cereal in the cupboard, none of which is the cereal I’m craving this morning.

Today I’m looking forward to work, for silly reasons I will not be sharing here.

Today I’m thinking that the word “today” looks a little funny after you write it so many times.

Today I do not miss you anymore. Huh, they said it would happen sometime. I just didn’t know sometime would be…

today

When is the best time to go to the ER?

•June 12, 2010 • 4 Comments

I’m not sure if you have ever wondered when the most convenient time to go to the Emergency Room is, but I have. Though admittedly, most of this wondering has occurred in the past week. Rabies will do that to a person I guess. Once you get over the initial shock of “Oh my God, I’ve been exposed to Rabies, this could be potentially very, very serious,” you stop worrying and start to ask yourself instead “Why the (insert chosen expletive suitable for your particular ER wait time) does this have to take so long?!”

Having been in the Emergency Room four times over the past week, I now feel like I have a better grasp on the situation.

So, when is the best time to go to the ER?

Well, for starters, if you are currently experiencing an emergency requiring immediate attention such as loss of limb or werewolf bite, for example, you should put away your computer and dial 911.

If, however, your “emergency” is somewhat flexible, I have this to say:

Go in the morning. Early enough to avoid most of the daily commute accidents, but late enough to barely miss the night–before–crowd, although I can’t imagine what they are doing there anyway.

At 7:30 am this morning when I went to get my Day 7 shot for the rabies vaccine, there was barely anyone else there. I was in and out in a relatively awesome amount of time considering the last three afternoon visits. This leads me to believe one of two things is true.

1. Less emergencies happen in the morning.

–or–

2. Emergencies seem a whole lot less important when you have to drag yourself out of bed.

So if you are planning a trip to the Emergency Room anytime soon, please keep in mind the following:

  • The order in which you are seen has nothing to do with the fact the you are now homeschooling your children out of room number 9. Instead, it has more to do with the severity of your condition as opposed to your neighbor’s. For instance, both the guy in the room next to you having a heart attack and the girl who submerged her hair dryer in water and then attempted to dry her hair will probably fall ahead of you in line. Unfortunately it is a system determined by both severity and time of arrival, not severity, time of arrival, and level of stupidity involved.
  • Take a book. This is for a couple of reasons. First of all, any magazines they have in the waiting room are all going to be editions from Spring of last year with various tips on how to creatively dye an Easter egg. There will be one magazine that does interest you and they will have several under that title spread across the waiting room. Unfortunately, it will only be multiple copies of the same issue over and over. What can I say? Some people are just cruel. The second reason for bringing a book with you to the ER is because it just so happens that the one time you actually remember to bring a book will inevitably be your shortest visit.
  • Don’t drink hot coffee or ice water right before or during your stay. Apparently, this really throws the thermometer off when the nurse is trying to take your vitals. Apparently.

In short, if you can help it the best time to visit the ER is, in my experience, the morning. In fact, if you take a book to read and a coffee to drink (AFTER the nurse takes your temperature) it can actually be quite a comfortable spot to get some reading done..

Don’t Stop Believing

•June 11, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Today, or yesterday as it would be after 12 am by this point, was one of those days. You know, the kind where you get in the car in the morning and you put on “Don’t Stop Believing.” Yeah, you know those days. You get real pumped up, ready for the day, singing and drumming enthusiastically on your steering wheel with the windows down at a stoplight, not really caring who is watching. And then before you even reach the end of the song you hit the back button on your stereo just so you can listen to it all over one more time, and maybe hit those high notes just a little better this time around? But before you know it you’re almost to work and the song is on its sixth round now and you aren’t even singing anymore. It’s almost as if you’ve thrown the song on repeat just desperately trying to convince yourself to “hold on to that feeling.”

Yeah, it was one of those days.

I love my job. I really, really do. I just wanted to clear that up now so there is no confusion as you read the following. So when you get to the end, just remember: I love my job.

Today, I had a guy ask me what the process was to adopt staff members.

A lady called me, then asked me to call her back in three minutes.

I had yet another person call and ask if we had any “Pit Bull dogs” for sale.

I spent my lunch break reading Cat Fancy because I forgot to bring a book.

I had to move 200 pounds (literally) of kitty litter.

I had a solid metal door slammed against my head by a very excited, very energetic black lab and I now have a nice size lump on the side of my skull.

Not to mention tomorrow I get to go back to the ER for Day 7 of my post-exposure rabies shots.

Oh, and finally, to no one’s real surprise, Mr. Right did not come into my work to sweep me off my feet. Again!

Yeah, one of those days.