My eyes are screaming for the sight of you 
And tonight I’m dreaming of all the things that we’ve been through 
And I can’t hold on to you. 
So I guess I feel lonely, too. 

S l o w   w a y   d o w n 

this break down’s eating me alive. 

And I’m tired,

                 this fight is fighting to survive. 

Tell me a secret…                                                          

                                             I want it

Tell me a story…

                                             I need it

I’ll listen attentively 
I’ll stay awake all night. 

Allow me to whisper…

                                              So softly

There’s nothing I did mean…

                                              Please help me

But it’s in my body, 
It’s strong enough to fight

                                            Let’s make this right

Please help me make this right. 

Dear Prospective Employers and Otherwise Bored Readers,

I am a recent university graduate currently searching for employment in what seems to be a fairly desolate job market. That isn’t to say that there are no jobs available, but more that the ones available are more or less unattainable. Let me tell you a little bit about myself and my concerns.

Out of high school, I entered college with the idea that a degree would not only help form me into a more well-rounded individual, but a well-rounded hirable individual. I majored in something I love – Creative Writing – and pursued a minor in Publishing and Printing Arts, something I found equally interesting and, above all, fun. My goal was to graduate and find something fulfilling to do with all of that knowledge I spent the last four years acquiring. However, emerging from school I found the job markets for such talents to be, well, small. After reading through list after list of job requirements, I have come to realize that my degree generally fulfills line one of the “minimum qualifications” section. It seems like every job I look at requires a “minimum five years related work experience.” While this is understandable for some positions, where are the openings that allow a person to obtain those five years of experience after working hard at a four year degree? Even the local coffee carts seem to prefer, if not require, prior experience as a barista. 

I’m often told that the best way to get the career you want, is to take the job you don’t want. I am more than willing to do that. At this point, in fact, I crave that job I “don’t want.” I would LOVE to make coffee, answer phones, file papers, or take notes for those people who have the career I want, just to get into the same building as them. My problem at this point is that the career I want exists, but the elevator to get there has apparently vanished or has reached its maximum capacity.

I didn’t work hard for four years on random assignments to be given a box at the end that contained a ready-made kit: one part Creative Writing skills, one part Publishing skills, one paper certificate as a receipt that I did in fact receive these items. Instead, I went to learn more about how to use the skills I already have. As a writer, a lover of words, I learned more about how they are used and how I can use them in ways that are entirely my own. When seeking a minor, I learned that I had an interest in the world of publishing, and I pursued it. I learned more about the field and loved the way it tapped into my business-oriented self in ways that my classes in writing let me explore my creative side. My printing arts classes pushed me even further to create more tangible expressions of creativity than words or ideas. I discovered on a daily basis new facets of my own character and self and learned the ways to make use of them. I did not go to college to “get an education” and expect that alone to make me immediately hirable. I went to tap into the qualities and abilities already within myself that make me a desirable person to hire.

So my qualifications are these:

Yes, I have a BA in English with an emphasis on Creative Writing.

I have a minor concentration in Publishing and Printing Arts

I also have all of this:

Retail experience at Ann Taylor Loft. I was such a good sales associate, in fact, I was able to sell a considerable amount of clothing to myself, increasing the size of my stylish and professional looking wardrobe, significantly decreasing the size of my wallet and bank account.

Experience as a front desk attendant at a residence hall at my university. I was finally able to put my experience with a telephone and my ability to simultaneously smile and say “hello” to good use.

Management experience. As in managing a 6 and 2 year old. Working as a nanny may not have allowed me to use a lot of my writing and editing talents, but it did teach me patience and the value of a good attitude and sense of humor.

Event planning experience. I recently pulled off an exceptional, relatively low-cost, destination wedding for my parents! I was the wedding planner, the maid of honor, the wedding photographer, and even the cake decorator and caterer! If that doesn’t say “skilled at multi-tasking,” I don’t know what will.

Four years of full-time, excellent note taking experience! My Psych 101 and History of the Holocaust notebooks are especially good examples. Eight years experience if you count high school!

I can write, I can edit, I can even index!

I am a quick and willing learner. I would rather not spend my four year degree on making the coffee you pick up on your way to work, but if you are willing to give me a shot, let me get my foot in the door to your world, I will make and bring that coffee to your desk every day wearing a big smile! I will take your notes and answer your phones, and I will learn to work my way up from the bottom. Now, that isn’t something I learned in school, but it does compliment my degree nicely, if you ask me.

Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy product of frustration and somewhat amused wonderment at the task of searching for employment. When it comes down to it, I don’t want to live to work or work to live. I want a balance. I want to actively use those qualities and abilities I have tapped into, not to simply use them as filler on a job application.

And on that note, I end this with a borrowed and slightly modified plea…

So pick me, choose me, HIRE ME!

Two students from my small university died in a car accident on Friday evening. All I can think about is how they were here, then in an instant they weren’t. I didn’t know either of them well and though there is no way anyone could have known, I wonder, why didn’t I take the time to know them better? The girl lived two doors down the hall from me my sophomore year, but we weren’t friends. Why not? What kept us from being friends? Doesn’t it seem like a waste now? Doesn’t the reason seem so incredibly small now?

Doesn’t everything?

It is sad that it takes things like this to open your eyes. To be a little more thankful. To be a little less bitter. To drive a little more carefully. To smile a little more for everything you have.

This weekend has reminded me in its own, sad way to be a little more aware. Aware of what I have, aware of what I’m doing, aware of all life has to offer.

It isn’t something we like to think about but there it is: life is too short. Whether you live to be 100 or whether God has other plans, life is still too short.

So order pizza with your friends. Go for a hike. Put your soul into every little thing you have to do. Call your mom. Laugh. Ask yourself why you aren’t friends with the girl two doors down. Spend an entire day in the arms of the one you love. Write a letter. Write anything. Get in touch with that friend from way-back-when who you used to spend every summer day with climbing trees and watching Dirty Dancing… you never know when she won’t be there anymore. Smile… a lot… and mean it!

Stop squandering your potential!

I have an amazing family. I have good and loving friends. I have an absolutely wonderful boyfriend. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, but I’m living it!

I love.

I am loved.

I am thankful.